First anniversary
We made it to our first anniversay- last week- no big deal- dinner at the Roadhouse...
I half hoped for a little romance tho I know better. No romatic weekends for us. The week before was Sweetish Day and when I mentioned it he gave me a dirty look- like DON"T EXCEPT FLOWERS!"
he thinks romance is just for wimps... of course he wasn't always that way... Guys don't treat you how they really feel until they get you hooked- then the real man comes out- and look out- he's the boss and don't agrue! It's sports and cars and nothing else matters!
He couldn't even attend my birtday party--- and all I got was a card from him!

Love after love
Do you believe in love at first site? Or that you only get one true love in your lifetime? Is the second time around with an old lover better? Do childhood sweethearts last? When you have fallen in love is it too late to get your sences back?

you can't make someone love you just because you love them.....
women seem to give unconditional love and men put conditions on love.

Trapped in past mistakes
why do we keep making the same mistakes in love? trying to work out old heartaches? what's different when we are 20? 30? 40? what hurt us then will still hurt us when we are 50. 60. 70. Do we tolarate more or less as we get older?

Dr Phil
A while back on the Dr Phil show there was a couple and the husband was very distant & refused to hug or touch his wife. I wondered how she could be with such a man? and how he could be that way with a woman he claimed to love. Doesn't love mean wanting to be close to a person? How important is a hug?

How to tell when he stops loving you.
He doesn't open doors for you but runs ahead & get mad when you don't keep up. He stops buying your cigarettes & starts keeping track of who spends more on who. He thinks it's his job to point out all your flaws & tell you how bad you look. He's nicer to strangers than he is to you.
A single rose on Valentines day does not mean "I love you" it means you are cheap & it's better than nothing! Holidays & birthdays are burdens to be dealt with. He's only nice to you in front of other people & sometimes not even then.
You are 3rd or 4th on the list of what is important & he tells you everything else is more important.
he doesn't let you park your car in the garage and it never enters his mind to scrap the snow off your windshiels.

From bad to worst....
nothing new to report...just on borrowed time...
I thought I had deleted this blog- but then I tried to create a new one & this one came back- go figure-is delete just sleeping?

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His best friends girl
I'm not a jealous person nor am I a fool. I've seen it before. He's falling for his best friends girl. He is so entralled with everything she says & does. He compares me to her all the time. And even asks her if she agrees with some of my ideas & has her explain me to him! He won't listen to me but hangs on her every word! If he treated me the way he treats her we would get along fine. She can do no wrong & I can do no right in his eyes. He works so hard to impress her & couldn't care less what I think. I got pissed because he sang "Our song to her"- how would he like it if I sang the song to some other guy?
He has always talked about buying or starting a business. But now that I plan to with the sale of my house- he won't even discuss it with me. She said she wouldn't want to own a business- let someone else deal with the headaches. Right away he agrees with her! Never does he back any of my opinions.
It's all the little things- the way he mentions her name- spends the evening hung on her every word- so interested in what she did that day- so impressed with her opinions- so happy to see her. He says he's just being polite! I wish he would be that polite to me- he was the first two months we were together. He treats her the way he treated me when we first started dating. I sure don't want to watch him treat another woman like he's on a date with her!
I've seen it before- I know the signs- inocent flirting that leads to more. I never thought my sister would screw me over when she was flirting with my b/f either. The attraction of the forbidden-
It's time to get out- I'll be moving out of two homes this month. He won't even miss me.

Flip side
This past week I have spent a lot of time at my house that goes on the market next week-
Only home (at his place) a couple days- and it's wierd- one minute he's attentive & the next neglectful. For instance... he bought us matching watches- out of the blue- an unexpected gift.
And he got in the shower with me- I hate to take showers alone- well not hate but dislike. I didn't even have to invite him. So that was nice.
I only weigh 118 pounds but he is constantly teasing me about my wieght.
The rest of the time he spent in the garage working on his car- knowing that I would be leaving in a couple hours for a couple days. Like that couldn't wait until after I left. He came in the house in time for the ball game & to tell me good bye. I don't expect that much- but if I'm going to be gone for a couple days at least spend an hour with me before I leave.

House For Sale
I've put my house up for sale- it goes on the market Oct 1st. I'll be making a tidy little profit on it. And I'm planning to open up a craft & hobby shop- so I have been busy with my business plan- besides packing & getting the house ready for the open house showing. He doesn't want to hear anything about my business plan & thinks I'm goofy. He resents the time I spend at the house- I only have a week to get it in order- to pack up 25 years of my life. This is not a sudden decession- I have been thinking about it for years.
Last year he said he would marry me if I sold my house- because he didn't want the responsablity of it- I wasn't ready to give it up-
he thought I was neglecting this house because I had to take of that house too- pay those bills & take care of that yard. This house is not neglected- he just resents the time I spend at my house.and my pay checks going there.
I guess he thought if I sold my house I would put the money into this (his) house. So he is really down on my business plan.. I don't ask him for money. He has three old classic cars that he puts his money into. And if I want to start a businees with the sale of my house More power to me. I need something to fall back on if we don't work things out. and I don't want to work in shops all my life- I hate that work.
It would be nice if he wasn't so negative about everything I say do or plan. If he could back some of my dreams & goals. Trust my judgement a little & respect my opinions.